JACK & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

I guess I'll tell the story of what happened today *sad face*. 

We had a meltdown - and I do mean we. Dad is working out of town, which I always hate, but it also happens to be his last week of work before school starts ($$$) and that's stressing me out a bit. Jack is getting teeth and possibly has an earache or something (I dunno cause he won't TALK!). 

It all started at lunch. He ate half a 6" from Subway yesterday and did so good with it, so I decided to save it for lunch today! First bite, all good. Second bite? He grimaced, which I know means he's going to spit it out. Nope. He chewed.. and chewed.. and chewed.. then took it out of his mouth and threw it at me. 

*Deep breath*. 

Try again. Nope. Same thing. Chew, chew, chew.. Throw it at mom. Once in awhile he would swallow, but probably 80% was spit out or thrown at me. Which is annoying because he knows better, and I know he knows better. Fine, you don't want your sandwich? Give me 30 seconds to quickly rethink your meal plan.. Goldfish crackers! You LOVE goldfish crackers. 1.. 2.. good, he's eating them. 3.. Nope. Chew, chew, chew.. You get the picture. OKAY FINE! I'll just spoon feed you yogurt. Is that nummy? Oh good! Oh no.. As soon as the spoon came out of his mouth he spit. I could've strangled him (but I didn't! Because I LOVE my toddler!). Instead, I let out a little yell of frustration. 

Then he cried. And cried. And cried. 

And I cried. And cried. And cried. 

He did eventually eat the whole container of yogurt, and was put to bed with a bottle of formula (that I keep on hand in case of emergencies. This qualified, believe me). 

He got up from his nap and I thought, I'll give him a treat! We'll go for a walk (and I'll let him actually walk) to the park and have a "snack-nic" (which translates roughly to a picnic of snack foods). So, I packed the bag, got the stroller ready (because no mom with a toddler would go anywhere without a backup plan), got his shoes strapped on, and off we went. We had 4 blocks to go. Did I think he would make it the whole way? No. Hence the stroller. Did I think it would be two houses before our first meltdown? 

I imagine his brain was in hyperdrive. 

"Hey Mom! I'm walking! Look at me wal-- WHAT is THAT?! Is that a PINECONE? I NEED TO EAT IT! Mmmmmmm nope. Gross. *toss* Okay okay, we're walking.. We're walking.. Hey! I want to push the stroller! Good mama for letting me push the stroll-- HOLY COW! That was a CAR! Mama, did you see that CAR? Where did it go? I need to see where it went. Just let me go out here on the road.. NOOOOOOOOOOOO MAMAMAMAMAMAMAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cry cry cry cry cry cry* Maybe if I thrash around violently she'll be forced to put me down.. Oh, you're gonna put your face that close to mine in a desperate attempt to reason with me? NOPE! *headbutt* Breathe. Okay. I'll calm down. Fine. I'll push the stroller. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO HOLD YOUR HAND WHILE WE CROSS THE ROAD? HOW HUMILIATING. I'M GOING TO SCREAM AND THRASH AROUND AGAIN! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PUT ME IN THE STROLL-- Fine. I'll sit in the stroller. It's cooler in here anyway." 

You can imagine the rest of our afternoon.

5 - 

the number of times I buckled and unbuckled the stroller harness.

4 - 

the number of times I had to grab him from the road (he is FAST). 

3 - 

the number of times I let him slide down the HUGE slide.

2 - 

the number of stranger's porch stairs he tried climbing.

1 - 

the number of times I'm going to attempt that trip to the park.