JACK & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

I guess I'll tell the story of what happened today *sad face*. 

We had a meltdown - and I do mean we. Dad is working out of town, which I always hate, but it also happens to be his last week of work before school starts ($$$) and that's stressing me out a bit. Jack is getting teeth and possibly has an earache or something (I dunno cause he won't TALK!). 

It all started at lunch. He ate half a 6" from Subway yesterday and did so good with it, so I decided to save it for lunch today! First bite, all good. Second bite? He grimaced, which I know means he's going to spit it out. Nope. He chewed.. and chewed.. and chewed.. then took it out of his mouth and threw it at me. 

*Deep breath*. 

Try again. Nope. Same thing. Chew, chew, chew.. Throw it at mom. Once in awhile he would swallow, but probably 80% was spit out or thrown at me. Which is annoying because he knows better, and I know he knows better. Fine, you don't want your sandwich? Give me 30 seconds to quickly rethink your meal plan.. Goldfish crackers! You LOVE goldfish crackers. 1.. 2.. good, he's eating them. 3.. Nope. Chew, chew, chew.. You get the picture. OKAY FINE! I'll just spoon feed you yogurt. Is that nummy? Oh good! Oh no.. As soon as the spoon came out of his mouth he spit. I could've strangled him (but I didn't! Because I LOVE my toddler!). Instead, I let out a little yell of frustration. 

Then he cried. And cried. And cried. 

And I cried. And cried. And cried. 

He did eventually eat the whole container of yogurt, and was put to bed with a bottle of formula (that I keep on hand in case of emergencies. This qualified, believe me). 

He got up from his nap and I thought, I'll give him a treat! We'll go for a walk (and I'll let him actually walk) to the park and have a "snack-nic" (which translates roughly to a picnic of snack foods). So, I packed the bag, got the stroller ready (because no mom with a toddler would go anywhere without a backup plan), got his shoes strapped on, and off we went. We had 4 blocks to go. Did I think he would make it the whole way? No. Hence the stroller. Did I think it would be two houses before our first meltdown? 

I imagine his brain was in hyperdrive. 

"Hey Mom! I'm walking! Look at me wal-- WHAT is THAT?! Is that a PINECONE? I NEED TO EAT IT! Mmmmmmm nope. Gross. *toss* Okay okay, we're walking.. We're walking.. Hey! I want to push the stroller! Good mama for letting me push the stroll-- HOLY COW! That was a CAR! Mama, did you see that CAR? Where did it go? I need to see where it went. Just let me go out here on the road.. NOOOOOOOOOOOO MAMAMAMAMAMAMAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cry cry cry cry cry cry* Maybe if I thrash around violently she'll be forced to put me down.. Oh, you're gonna put your face that close to mine in a desperate attempt to reason with me? NOPE! *headbutt* Breathe. Okay. I'll calm down. Fine. I'll push the stroller. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO HOLD YOUR HAND WHILE WE CROSS THE ROAD? HOW HUMILIATING. I'M GOING TO SCREAM AND THRASH AROUND AGAIN! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PUT ME IN THE STROLL-- Fine. I'll sit in the stroller. It's cooler in here anyway." 

You can imagine the rest of our afternoon.

5 - 

the number of times I buckled and unbuckled the stroller harness.

4 - 

the number of times I had to grab him from the road (he is FAST). 

3 - 

the number of times I let him slide down the HUGE slide.

2 - 

the number of stranger's porch stairs he tried climbing.

1 - 

the number of times I'm going to attempt that trip to the park. 

Mom Fails Confessions #2

From Facebook
Kyra confessed:  Sometimes when milo wakes up before his deemed "wake up time" I turn off the baby monitor and keep sleeping. I will never know how long he sits and talks/cries until he goes back sleep. Milo also lives off of cheese and fruit. He refuses to eat veggies or meat. He also loves ice coffee...

Rebecca said: I put Ian in his crib screaming because I can't handle it sometimes him being so grumpy. On the drive home from Raymond I gave him a little bit of tylenol because he was so upset crying from Raymond to Calgary almost non stop couldn't take it anymore.

From Babycenter.com March 2013
"I forgot a diaper after being at the waterpark.. So he went home in an extra swim diaper. And peed - everywhere!"

"When my son was a newborn and I was super sleep deprived I accidentally left the faucet in the bathroom sink on.. and it stopped draining. When I finally noticed the bathroom was flooded, every drawer in the vanity was full, and the basement was raining. My husband still hasn't let me live it down."

Dad fail! "I couldn't figure out why my kid was having such a hard time standing up! Finally I went to change his diaper, and both legs were through the same hole!"

"When little one was about four months my husband and I were leaving my parents house late at night to go home. We had just used the last diaper at their house but figured it didn't matter because we were going home anyways. We get into the car and realize it has no gas. We proceed to break down a couple blocks from my parents house. We get out our cell phones to call my parents to come pick the three of us up only to realize that both our phones are dead. So we get out of the car, put the baby in the stroller, and walk back to my parents house. When we get there we realize lo has decided it would be great time to explode her diaper. However, there were no more diapers to change her into at my parent's house. My dad luckily had a gas can and gave us gas to get us home. Lo had to wear a towel wrapped around her for the ride home. Talk about unprepared. I do, however, now always make sure there are enough diapers, gas in the car, and that my phone is charged before I go anywhere." *Duly noted*

"When mine was a newborn, I hadn't gotten the whole 'prepared diaper bag' thing down yet. So when she pooped at the docs office (I think her 1 month check up) I didn't have a spare.
When I took her with to my 6 week pp checkup, I was all prepared w extra diapers! Except during that visit, she peed THROUGH her sleeper. I had no spare clothes. Ugh.
Lessons learned!"

I certainly can attest to lessons learned. *sigh*. We don't go ANYWHERE without extra clothes, extra diapers (cloth and I leave disposables in the car, just in case), food (because a hungry baby is a miserable baby), and a sippy cup (because, believe me, there is nothing worse (or wetter) than being at the zoo in the 25C weather and realizing your left baby's cup in the car. 

Mom Fails Confession #1

I love my Jackers. I love my "job" as a stay at home mom, and I never want to have to leave him to go to work.

But I have my days. 

I have those days when I would love nothing more than to sell him to the circus and spend the day shopping.

Here is where I am going to document my mom fails. And I'm going to own up to them. Every one.

June 16, 2014
I let Jack toddle around a public store in bare feet because I have yet to find a pair of sturdy shoes that don't make his feet sweat. And I'm not even really looking.

I fed Jack breadstick crackers dipped in process cheese for lunch because he wouldn't eat anything else.

He is currently in his bed fussing because I can't deal with his crankiness. It's MY time out. We do this for at least an hour every day.

Retroconfession: Saturday we spent the day at the zoo in Calgary, a 3 hour drive from home. We left Raymond at 8:30am, and got home at 7pm. He didn't nap for more than 45 minutes. When we got home he was WIRED and was not going to sleep. I ended up giving him melatonin (~1 mg) at 10pm. And it worked.

Send me your confessions!