I know a lot about high risk pregnancies.
I know a lot about thinking your pregnancy is so healthy and wonderful, even with type 1 diabetes, only to find out that your body is basically rejecting the precious life you're carrying.
I know all about being lied to by doctors about being put on bed rest.
I know about spending 4 days on said bed rest in a hospital staring out at a brick wall, missing fresh air and vitamin D.
I know about feeling your little boy kicking at his heart rate monitor and ultrasound probe in frustration.
I know how being diagnosed with severe preeclampsia feels.
I know how scary it is.
I know how magnesium sulfate feels when it hits your blood stream. How awful it is.
I know how bumpy the ambulance ride to and from the airport is.
I know how small air ambulances are, and how quickly they can travel 1000 km.
I know how dumb you feel when the doctor looks you in the eye and asks if you know what's going on or how sick you are.
I know how it feels to be told you'll be delivering your 28-weeks gestation son by emergency C-section..
I know what a C-section feels like.
I know how hard it is to see your son get whisked away and be left on the operating table, wondering how he is and what's happening.
I know all about having a baby in the NICU (38 days and counting!), and how hard it is to get him to wake up and try breast feeding.
I know how lucky I am to have a healthy son, to be healthy, to have a little family. I know how wonderful extended family is. I know how important a ward family is. I know how frustrating and scary pregnancy can be, especially when it's a high risk.. But I know, above all, how worth it it is. I know how worth it it is to hold your newborn, tiny tiny son for the first time, and to watch him grow, and come to recognize his parents.
I know what love is. Again.
